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Building Your Child’s Love Language

Your love language has so much power. Whether you express love through the words you speak or by the actions you commit to, there is so much impact from the love you give to others. What is most important is understanding that love as a language is unique to the individual. There are five love languages: words of affirmation, physical touch, giving gifts, quality time, and acts of service. Here are some ways to help build your child’s developing love language.



  1. Encourage affirmations. You are your child’s hero and model, so practice self-affirmations and invite your child to do them with you. Speak one positive statement aloud every morning to start the day. This can change your child’s behavior and attitude towards school drop-off and can even help them overcome their daily challenges. Some characteristics that embody affirmations include expressing appreciation, empathy, and listening actively. Encourage affirmations genuinely, frequently, and consistently to help build self-love and confidence.

  2. Prioritize loving embraces. Use non-verbal body language to express love. Hugs, kisses, and holding hands are methods of communicating comfort and safety. Show physical affection often and it will become part of your daily routine, one that your child can carry with them the rest of their lives.

  3. Build their experiences of giving. The act of giving speaks purposefully and displays thoughtfulness. Small things matter in a big way. Encourage children to give thoughtful gifts and gestures. There is so much joy in sharing kindness with others and showing appreciation, whether that is giving or receiving gifts.

  4. Spend quality time together. Quality time requires uninterrupted and focused attention. Create special moments together, either as a family or one-on-one. Go on walks, star gaze, or make plans to do some of your favorite activities together.

  5. Set goals for acts of service. Use action phrases often to model a partnership with young children. Action phrases like, “How can I help you?” or “Would you like to help me with your lunch for tomorrow?” are inviting and create a partnership. Encourage children to go out of their way in helping others.


Help children discover their developing love language. Survey how they mainly express love and plan opportunities to grow those expressions of affection.


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