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Striking the Balance: Spoiling Vs. Providing for Your Child

by Anisa Foy

Having a child changes you forever. You experience a love like never before and you make a promise to yourself, you will do all in your power to keep this child happy and safe. You also have hope that your child will grow up to be the brightest, the happiest and the most responsible human being on the planet. You make a vow to protect and deny your child nothing. You want your child to be happy safe and secure always. These are all natural feelings and come from a place of love. You always want to see their faces light up when given a toy, when you help them all the time, when rewards are offered for every little thing the child does correctly. Today let's discuss how these feelings, if not handled correctly, can actually have a negative effect on the child’s development.

The Pitfalls of Overindulgence:

While it's natural to want to see your child smile, excessive giving can lead to entitlement and a never-ending quest for more. This sense of entitlement can hinder your child's growth and success well into adulthood. Rewarding problematic behavior with gifts only masks underlying issues and prevents your child from learning responsibility and accountability. It's crucial for children to understand the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behavior, and this lesson starts at home.

Balancing Acts: Providing for your child doesn't mean fulfilling every whim. Essentials and security are paramount, while gifts for special occasions are treats. Positive reinforcement for good behavior, along with teaching good manners, should be part of daily life.

Managing Expectations:

It's challenging to deny your child every desire, especially when their peers have it all. Encourage your child to create a wish list for special occasions and teach them money management by giving them a small allowance and setting expectations about budgeting and saving.

Teaching Responsibility:

Children need to learn the value of money and understand the distinction between needs and wants. By assigning age-appropriate chores and encouraging saving for desired items, children develop a sense of responsibility and learn that money must be earned.

As parents, it's our responsibility to provide love, security, and guidance while instilling values that promote resilience and self-sufficiency. We believe a child is a precious gift entrusted in our care. The early growing years are the most formative. The child needs most love and security in these early years. They need to be taught by example that they cannot have everything they want when they want it. These examples set by you during the early years will make your child a happy, successful and well-adjusted adult. These are lessons that need to start in the home at a very young age.

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